Dear Katherine,

I need help in trying to get over what others think of me. I always try to accommodate others in their best interests and rarely think of how it will effect me. I pretend im someone im not,i pretend im emotionless and cold when im the opposite. But in a way i feel like im doing it to protect myself. Thoughts?

—Elena

Elena, darling

Pretending to be cold and emotionless is exhausting—and, frankly, it looks about as convincing as a vampire saying, “I’m not hungry,” while eyeing a neck with a pulsing blue vein. I get it—you’re ice on the outside when molten lava burns inside. That little act? It’s just a velvet rope hiding your warmth, your fire, your actual self.

Here’s the delicious part: you don’t have to audition for a role that doesn’t exist. You can be honest, emotional, and alive without turning into a doormat or handing out free therapy sessions. Start small: let one real piece of yourself show at a time. Notice how it feels. Safe? Exhilarating? Awkward? And tell me, darling, have you ever let even a glimpse of your real self show? How did that feel? Wouldn’t it be delightful to explore that more?

You can be tender and fierce at once. You can protect yourself while being fully seen. Masks are for parties and vampires, not your life. And darling? The world is far more interesting when it meets the real you . . . unfiltered, unpretentious, and unapologetically alive.

With all my wicked little heart,
Katherine 🖤