Dear Katherine,

How can I be sure that people won’t take advantage of my kindness?

—Alyssa

My dearest Alyssa,

Here’s the thing about kindness: when you have it, people either cherish it… or try to wring it out of you like it’s bottomless.

You don’t need to stop being generous. That’s part of your magic. But when “yes” becomes your default just to keep the peace? That’s not kindness—it’s self-sacrifice dressed up as diplomacy. And frankly, you deserve better.

So how do you keep people from taking advantage?

You pause. You ask:
Do I actually want to do this? Do I have the energy? Am I saying yes out of care—or out of fear of being called difficult?
And if the answer isn’t clear? Don’t answer yet. Let them wait for once.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re doors you control. You choose who gets in, how long they stay, and what they don’t get to touch. That’s not being cold—it’s being in charge.

And yes, guilt might show up at first. Let it. That’s just the echo of old rules you’re rewriting. It’ll quiet down once it realizes you’re not living for other people’s comfort anymore.

You can still be soft. Just don’t be a sponge. Your kindness should never come at the cost of your clarity.

Protect your energy like it’s a secret worth keeping. Because it is.

With all my wicked little heart,
Katherine 🖤